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You are not Your Survival Mechanism
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All of these are great traits – so what is the problem??
Wrap-up
Often children pick up on problems their parents have, and project them onto themselves: e.g. children of busy parents or alcoholics might draw conclusions like “If my parents truly cared about me, they would spend more time with me”, or “I must not be lovable because otherwise my parents would stop drinking”. As a result of traumatic events and experiences, we subconsciously form beliefs about ourselves and the world, from which we start operating (“world is not a safe place to be”, “I’m not good enough”, “Something is wrong with me”, “I have to be a good girl to receive love”).
As I relive this part of my life to write it for you it is beginning to exhaust me even now! I felt very drained, and it seemed as if joy and true love had disappeared from my daily experience.
Even though a person looks very friendly on the outside, he/she might be operating in stressful survival mode most of the time, which long term does lead to stress related diseases, exhaustion, resentment, discontent and lack of fulfillment. It leaves you in the disempowered role of a victim, depending on others to feel good before you can feel safe and relaxed.
A sense of “I need something” got created. This sense of “I need something” for them relates to the outside, needing something from somebody else, as there is a sense of “not being enough” oneself. Later this “I need” is often compensated into “I need to be needed”, which still leaves you dependent on the outside.
This is my story. I was a big-time pleaser. Outwardly many people, even my close friends, saw me as successful, cheerful and happy. For the longest time, even I believed that to be true. But, as pressure of trying to please more people increased, it was surprising and not so pretty to discover that over time, I had built up resentment against the people I was attempting to please - and against life, for putting me in this impossible situation. I started acting out the role of the nagging wife. Where did my empowered self go? How did I end up in the role of the victim??
Everybody kept telling me how beautiful kids are in their way of helping us stay in the present moment. But my experience did certainly not live up to this nice picture. The present moment was the only place I hardly ever visited anymore. I felt like I had to anticipate needs and prevent future fires,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], trying so hard to get it right,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so at least nobody could blame me later. The rest of the time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I spent being resentful for all the things I could not do at this present moment – this included not so exotic things like take a shower when I felt like it, leave the house at the spur of the moment with nothing and nobody attached to me, or simply sleep at night without interruption.
Heike Prevrhal is a certified Matrix Reimprinting and EFT Practitioner and AAMET recognized EFT Trainer. She is helping people pleasers and others throughout the Bay Area at her ReleaseIntoPeace office in San Francisco, and loves supporting her clients world wide by phone and skype (English and German). Her web site is [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] , email: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] , phone: 415-652-1552
There is only a handful of possible strategies. In a large family with five siblings, becoming a fighter might be the only possible way to secure a piece of chicken at the dinner table.
Later in life these strategies become subconscious instincts that most of us are not fully aware of. As adults, not dependent on our parents anymore, with many more resources at our disposal, survival mechanisms that used to serve us in childhood become highly self-limiting and exhausting. They get in the way of living a happy and fulfilled life.
Because of the constant focus on the outside, often the inner reference system is not developed. It often seems impossible for these people to access and express what they really want, independent from anybody else’s desires – as the whole world is always perceived in relationship to other people’s needs.
My life felt like a juggling act of constantly making sure everybody else’s needs were met. My main need seemed to be that everybody else was happy and would not make my life harder. Only that way I could feel good, relax for a moment, and be safe from anger, negativity or screaming. Beyond that, I was not sure what I wanted or needed in addition to that yoga class once a week that kept me somewhat sane. Such questions usually brought up a lot of indecisiveness, confusion and doubt. Who, me? What do you mean, what do I need? Always focusing my attention on the outside, on other people had disconnected me from my internal guidance system. Estranged from that inner guidance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it always seemed to be a question of what I SHOULD or should not be doing. I had lots of lists and expectations in my head and on my desk, always accompanied by the insecurity and doubt of maybe not getting the right thing done and being doomed...
As we grow, all of us experience countless big and small traumas, moments of not receiving what was needed, of not feeling seen, understood or heard, of not feeling safe and loved.
Only when the pain is sufficiently large, do we act. This is when I began discovering the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Tapping on every possible thing I found relief, layer by layer, until eventually the deep and engrained core survival mechanisms became apparent to me. I clearly saw the survival mechanism of the people pleaser,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and saw that it didn’t serve me anymore. It had long ago reached its limits and was now seriously working against me!
Core Wound∗:
Many people pleasers experienced some kind of a physical or interpersonal core wounding at the young age of 6 months to 2 ½ years. Often there was a sense of not receiving enough, feeling abandoned or neglected on some level with a sense of helplessness, as nothing in their power helped the situation (e.g. not nursed, lack of physical closeness and holding; crying and parent didn’t come, mom/dad busy with own issues and emotionally not present).
You are not your survival mechanism. I encourage you to look beyond your fears and see what you discover. This is an invitation to transform yourself from a person dependent on pleasing others into a person who knows how to be filled up from within, from her/his own source. From wholeness, true giving and sharing becomes possible. May you be able to share from abundance and bring your authentic gifts to the world!
Hardly any child is born into a “perfect” environment with parents capable of consistently creating a physically and emotionally safe space overflowing with unconditional love - despite our best intentions. We all bring in our own limitations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and baggage and our children subconsciously pick up on these.
With great gratitude to all the people who have been and are supporting my personal process and who have been an inspiration to me in many, many ways!
Healing:
There are several parts that need to be considered in the healing process. The EFT tapping can support all of these steps:
Children depend on being taken care of by their adults and very quickly figure out what works in their specific situation. They quickly start developing a survival strategy that works for them: “What gets me the most of what I need in my specific setting, with my parents and family?”
Being a pleaser is tough business. To the pleaser’s mind, failure to please feels like a serious threat to one’s well-being and to feeling safe and loved. Yet at the same time, pleasing everybody over time becomes a “mission impossible”.
They tend to be flexible and willing to help out. They are very much in tune with other people’s needs. They are easy-going, open to compromise, and usually tend to avoid conflicts – or clear them out right away.
— Helping others is a way of securing your own wellbeing and is fear-based;
— Helping often functions as a “deal”: I’ll help you to make sure that you will love and appreciate me;
— I depend on you feeling well, otherwise I can’t feel safe or relaxed;
— It leads to resentment: “Why are you still not happy and content, damn it, I am trying so hard?!?”
— If you don’t pay me back for my help, I’ll resent that on some level;
— Strategy becomes more exhausting the more people you try to juggle: partner, colleagues, multiple children;
— It is hard to say “no” – at the same time, it is frustrating that all is on “me”. Feeling the responsibility for the whole world weigh down on your shoulders;
— Not feeling valued: “And what about me??”
— Feeling threatened by unresolved lingering conflicts, avoiding to offend others;
— Worry about future and attempt to prevent problems and conflicts by over-planning or procrastinating;
— Anger if anybody else messes up plans and strategies and with that creates unpleasant situations.
— Focusing so much on what others want that you loose touch with your own wants let alone needs
Another temporarily very successful survival strategy is being a “good girl/boy” and becoming really good in pleasing others: in these families making sure you meet other people’s needs helps the child to get its own needs met as much as possible: e.g. whenever mom is feeling good because you are being a good girl,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she is so much more pleasant and safe to be around. It is more likely you will get the love and attention you need from her. Being a good child can be a way to avoid a cold, mean or screaming parent.
A survival mechanism is a strategy we create, usually at quite a young age, to help us get the most of what we all need: safety, love and attention.
Did you recognize any of these?
Survival strategies are deeply engrained. Once you start becoming aware of them, it can be a shock to see how much they impact most of your every day interactions. This can be disillusioning as it questions and eventually destroys our perceived sense of self – our friendly self-image. Yet this awareness is the first huge step into freedom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and into reaching a place from where it is possible to give from a full heart and abundance instead of lack and fear.
One of the tricky aspects of the “pleaser strategy” is that even beyond childhood – despite never feeling truly fulfilling - it often still helps us to be well-liked and to secure some level of love and attention.
At the core, all survival patterns – including the strategy of the people pleaser -- are fear based. So instead of helping and supporting others from inner abundance and overflowing love, this friendliness comes from an inner lack. They are rooted in fear -- of not being loved enough, of being abandoned, and of not getting what you need. The main goal is to secure your own well-being, and not to support others lovingly. Often a feeling of exhaustion due to over-extending is present, as it can be impossible to say a clear “no” and stand up for your most inner truth, which you might not even be aware of yourself. Others sometimes see through this friendliness as a kind of neediness or desperation, and friendships might fizzle despite yourself.
Pleasers often are friendly, well-liked and successful people who seem to be leading a happy life.
What is a Survival Mechanism and How Does it Come Into Existence?
By Heike Prevrhal, ReleaseIntoPeace
See all Articles by Heike PrevrhalSee Heike Prevrhal's Expert PageGet Updates on AnxietyGet Updates on Heike Prevrhal Average: 4.666665 Your rating: None Average: 4.7 (3 votes) Tweet
Any of these survival strategies initially are helpful as they do allow a child to survive. They help the child to receive the most of what they need and can get in their specific situation.
Unfinished task*:
The unfinished task for these people often is the ability to truly receive, to let in and feel fulfilled. There is a tendency to doubt the right to have as well as the right to need.
More on the Pleasing Strategy
It is not surprising that I was operating under a constant level of stress and anxiety. Since this state of mind was so consistently present, I was not even aware of it. My mind was always busy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fast, well trained, and efficient. I was good at picking up on what was needed, and finding a solution to any disharmony as fast as possible. I always considered everybody’s need as best as I could, and I juggled it all. I became really good at juggling – and everybody around me seemed to enjoy me being so “considerate”. Most of the time, this pleasing behavior still got me the love and attention that I craved. The pressure was not yet big enough. I was still comfortable and felt flattered by the positive feedback being such a “nice person” got me. I was not aware that I had developed the pleaser syndrome and continuously disempowered myself by making my well-being completely dependent on others and what they thought about me.
1. The initial big step is to gain a clear awareness of the survival strategy and to start recognizing how it is playing out in everyday interactions.
2. Underlying trauma can be uncovered and released with the help of EFT and Matrix Reimprinting (core wounds, related events and traumas).
3. Even somebody who has clearly recognized the limitations of their survival strategy and who is interested in letting go of it, often will run into a lot of resistance during the process. Having functioned as a strategy for survival for such a long time, questioning it aggravates the “ego” and brings up some degree of fear of death - what if I give it up and I actually will die or nobody will love me anymore? This resistance can be addressed with EFT tapping.
4. So far the survival mechanism, any survival mechanism has been a way of running away from our deep fear of dying, being nobody, not being loved by anybody. The running away ultimately does not work. The truth is we can’t run away from our own fears – they will always wait for us somewhere, until we are willing to stop running, face them, and go beyond. Willingness to face the fear instead of running away from it can also be supported with tapping. People who are willing to face the fear and to stop running and being busy with making sure they keep everybody and the whole universe happy will actually experience a huge relief, a weight falling off their shoulders. Right underneath their fear resides a possibility of great,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], great freedom!
5. Another important step is learning how to shift the focus from constantly referencing self from the outside to tuning in to the inside: What truly feeds me? How can I learn to truly give to myself, to let in, receive fully, to be. This was a challenging process for me, as it felt so frustrating to try to do what serves me, but to truly not have access to that information. Tapping helped tremendously with addressing that frustration. There are many techniques that can support you coming home to yourself, re-learning how to listen to your authentic inner guidance system. Creating space for being quiet, shifting from doing to being/listening mode, meditation can be crucial. Creativity is an amazing tool to regain access to inner guidance, too. For example process oriented painting for me functions as a wonderful and inspiring training of the “muscle” of listening to the inside wisdom beyond the mind, and it allows me to bring joy, playfulness and presence in the moment back into life.
Abstract: We all develop survival strategies early on in our lives to stay safe and to secure as much love and attention as possible. This article presents an inquiry into the strategy of being the “good girl” or “good boy” by pleasing others. It shines the light of awareness on the long-term drawbacks, the pain, exhaustion and limitations of this initially successful strategy, and points to ways of healing core wounds and working with core fears to overcome being driven by this survival mechanism. This powerful transformational work opens up more fulfilling and authentic ways of being and sharing ourselves with the world.
There are several approaches that can support the process of de-identification with our survival mode. Addressing unresolved emotional baggage is a first step.
If you consider yourself a people pleaser or carry this tendency to any degree, see if you recognize some of the following:
Beginning to be aware of what is playing out in our lives provides us with an incredible opportunity for healing and stepping out of the stressful survival mode in every day life. It then can become clear that this is yet another layer of conditioning, programming of our system, and not who we really are. Even while the mechanism might still be playing out, with increasing awareness our identification with it decreases and it starts losing its “grip” on us. Eventually we will be able to catch ourselves, recognize our tendencies, and then have the choice and freedom of not acting on it.
Introduction: “She is such a nice, happy and successful woman!”
If support in emotional matters is not available, it might be best, for the sake of safety, to numb ourselves out and shut off negative emotions. We disconnect.
Fear*:
At the core is a fear of being abandoned and rejected. There also seems to be the underlying constant danger of not ever receiving enough of anything.
Usually we are deeply identified with our survival mechanism. It is so close to us, so engrained, that it feels like “me”. We don’t perceive a distance between “me” and “it”. That’s why it can be quite challenging to recognize and see through our specific mechanism at all.
The suffering is not created by the survival mechanism itself, but by our complete identification with it. As long as we lack the awareness about what we are playing out, we are stuck in automatic, blind, reactive behavior. We are subconsciously acting out our survival mechanism on a daily base.
Understanding and Healing the Survival Mechanism of the People-Pleaser
But the universe always gives us another chance. In my case,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], children. At all times, I felt the need to anticipate who might get hungry and when, and to prevent any other potential future disaster (like running out of snack food or not having a dry pair of clothes for baby). I planned ahead and was always prepared for everything. I read the right mothering books and developed strategies for all kinds of scenarios - real or imagined. Being overly prepared was my way of dealing with the underlying worry about the future. When the kids were not falling to sleep at night, I already felt the heavy weight of tomorrow’s cranky, unhappy child throughout my system. Many times I wished I could magically force them to fall asleep – ever tried that?!?
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Do GREAT work - This may seem completely obvious, but it's definitely worth mentioning. To get happy, satisfied clients, you have to do what you promised, when you promised, to the best of your ability.

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Our brains are wired for relationships but the busier we get the less time we have for what is really important. If you want to start feeling like yourself again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you must take charge of your life instead of drowning in a sea of opportunities.
Take a technology break
Most of us are addicted to technology. The advancements in technology have expanded our choices, but we haven’t learned how to say “no.” With every expansion in choice comes another requirement: to balance the choices with responsibility. Most people I know have not yet learned how to manage their addiction to being constantly plugged in. There’s facebook,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], twitter, texting, e-mail, faxes, pagers, cell phones. This over-stimulation is creating many problems in our world, including the inability to be present, multi-tasking which leads to inferior performance, and even dangerous life threatening activities such as texting while driving. To see if you are addicted, try to take a full day off without plugging in. Keep the computer off. No texting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and do not answer your cell for just one day. If you feel anxious and nervous, it’s because you are addicted. See, you do have extra time, but you don’t know what to do with it.
Now that you know you have a problem set some boundaries around the times you will use technology. Become the master of technology not a slave to the choices.
1. Stop working so much
2. Take a technology break
3. Block out time for fun
If you are obsessing, worrying and feeling overworked,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you may feel stuck on the hamster wheel and not know how to change. You long for fun and relaxation but you can’t see any change in sight. If you relate to the song, “I can’t get no satisfaction,” it’s time to make a couple of needed changes.
So often our unhappiness is that we have lost the joy of being around others. The biggest paradox is that we are all becoming very disconnected even though technology has expanded our options and methods of ways to communicate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Marlene Chism
See all Articles by Marlene ChismSee Marlene Chism's Expert PageGet Updates on Work Life BalanceGet Updates on Marlene Chism Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote) Tweet
Block out time for fun
When you are consumed by your work, you suddenly lose contact with everything else that is meaningful in your life. That is why I recommend actually blocking out time for fun. Make your rejuvenation just as important as work. Your health depends on it. Some ideas include making time for dinner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], getting together with friends, playing a board game on the weekend or getting a massage, and keep your blackberry or your iphone turned off! Get present to the experience in the moment. Enjoy the conversation without the distractions and noise. Look into the other persons eyes. Pretend you are that person for just a moment. Connect on a human level.
Stop working so much
We get addicted to adrenalin and being busy. Bryan Robnison,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an expert on workaholism, says “Work is this decade’s cocaine, the problem without a name.” Workaholism is an addiction that is socially acceptable. When you think about it, you probably get some internal reward for over working. People admire your work ethic. Yet, working too hard without recovery is not good for your health. The body craves rest and recovery every 60 to 90 minutes. A good sign that you are overworking is irritability,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hypertension,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], impatience and a loss of the zest for life.
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Control. As a freelancer you have to please your boss or your client. You don't usually make strategic decisions and you rely on other people to give you direction. As an employee you can become the boss and control your future.

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Are you listening? Are you paying attention,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], tapped into what your body is telling you?
It is important to notice the distinction between a calm, knowing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gut feeling and a fearful sick-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach pang. The former will move you forward, the later will move you farther away from what you wish to create for your life experience.
The answer to what the right path is, what the best choice to make is in any moment is intricately tied to your individuality and can only be answered optimally by you. The good news is that you already hold all of the answers, within you. All you have to do is pay attention, acknowledge and honor what your body communicates to you. When you show up in life centered in the truth of who you are you evoke the Wizard Within. Wizards are alchemists after all. They know how to turn dreams into reality!
If you struggle in any area of your life, it is an area where you are not listening to your body. You are not in tune with the guidance of your inner resources that are your birthright. Think for a moment. Can you recall a time when you followed a hunch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a gut instinct, and acted in a way that resulted in a great outcome? Perhaps you were offered a career move or even a social date and 'something told you' that it would not be a good idea to pursue this opportunity. Or, you may have experienced a calm inner knowing in your gut that inspired you to act on an inspired idea that delivered great results. Those inner bodily feelings and emotions were guiding you in the direction of your dreams, what your heart calls you to become.
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time." ~ Anna Freud
Your body talks to you all day long. What you feel in your body is an indicator of whether or not you are moving towards or away from achieving what you desire. Your gut instinct will tell you what steps to take,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what choices to make, that will get you what you want. Your stomach will tell you if you're headed in the wrong direction.
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Have you ever felt a bit scared, perhaps even sick to your stomach, when faced with a choice to do or not do something? Did you Find Excuses And Reasons (F.E.A.R.) to go ahead and do it anyway? What were the results? Not good, or at least not optimal, I assure you. You may have invested in something that you really didn't want to yet feared that you would be left out or feel 'less than' if you didn't go ahead and make the investment. Perhaps you stayed in a dysfunctional relationship a lot longer than you wanted to because you didn't want to be alone again. Was there a career opportunity that you passed on because you thought that you really weren't smart or talented enough to succeed? If so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], know that all of those choices were based in FEAR.
By Valery Satterwhite
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When you stand at the crossroads of choice and are not sure what road to take look within. Ask yourself what your inner being would want? Listen. Is the response based in intuition - a gut feeling or fear - a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Follow your intuition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], question your fear. Remind yourself of a time when you faced your fear and experienced a good result. Whenever you face your fears you will discover that what you feared was not real. Give yourself permission to follow your gut instinct instead of your fear voiced by your Inner Critic who misguidedly tries to hold you back to keep you safe in the comfort of an old, tired,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], comfort zone.
Any choice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], any act, based in fear will have a negative outcome. Any choice, any act, based in inspiration will have a positive outcome. Period.
"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], seek the path that demands your whole being." ~Rumi
A fulfilled life begins when you go beyond the outer threshold of your comfort zone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. - Wizard Within Wizdom
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But thirdly - and probably most importantly - know that success is different to everyone. Work out what your definition of success is and strive to achieve it. You don't have to be a Donald Trump to be one of life's successful - normal people like you and me just want the best for our family and to live a happy, comfortable life.
Have you ever wondered why some people are successful and others aren't,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Or have you ever said "I'm not like them - I can't be successful? This article explores what makes people successful and the secrets of success. Includes a link to 5 FREE Secrets of Success,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Sam Sander
See all Articles by sam sanderSee sam sander&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Success PrinciplesGet Updates on sam sander Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
There are many other secrets of success:
Understand YOU,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Lever off your strengths and strengthen your key weaknesses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Understand other people - you'll run into them everywhere and can either help you on your journey or get in your way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Get the right attitude - as Zig Ziglar put it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "It's your attitude,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not your aptitude that determines your altitude." Adopt a positive can-do approach to life and you'll be surprised where it takes you.
Manage your career,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your finances and look after your health.
And the grand-daddy of all success secrets: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
First of all, no-one has become successful by sitting on their proverbial butt and doing nothing about it. As they say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to plan to become what you plan to become. Sure, some people may have a seemingly easy run to the top - maybe they inherit the family business or maybe they just had a lot of luck along the way. But most successful people had a 'normal' upbringing, and some even had a disadvantaged upbringing - they just learnt how to seize opportunities and learnt the skills of success.
Well I'll let you in on a little secret - anyone can be successful. YOU can be successful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. But there are a couple of things you need to know.
Or perhaps you're more ambitious than that? It doesn't matter how big or small your ambitions are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the best (the only) way to get there is to set goals - regularly - and take action towards achieving your goals. Think about what you want on your tombstone and in your obituary - and live this life.
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Which brings me to my second point - learn the skills of success. Goal Setting. Time management. Planning and decision making. Goal setting in particular is what makes people successful - it gives you a meaningful target to aim for and when done properly, gives you the roadmap to get there. So set specific and measurable goals with deadlines, and prepare an action plan to achieve them.
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The next area of success deals with how you view your current environment, and the situations / events which are happening around you. While someone may view an event as being a road block, others may view it as being an opportunity.
Through extensive research I have discovered that the following list is without a doubt, the ten (10) ultimate Areas of Success™.
[ source: ]
Adam Aulenback
The Success Admiral™
I have found it very important to create “social goals”, where I will have to display my results in public on a specific date. This will give me the push to achieve (in order to avoid social criticism) and the pull to accomplish the goal I have set for myself (to align with my identity). This may work for some, and for others they may need to take the next step of complete integration.
You may be asked, or you may offer, mentoring services. Here you would allow someone to watch you, or follow you, perform your mastery and you may even give them hands-on assistance while they perform the mastery themselves.
Cool

Action
When you become great, people will automatically migrate to you for teaching them your mastery.
6) Masteries™
Then when you have the ability to unconsciously perform your master skill to achieve success you have accomplished mastery.
5) Goals
You can duplicate the results of anyone who has achieved a specific outcome if you know, in detail, their “recipe for success” using the following areas:
Knowledge (step-by-step :: how to)
Environment
Rules & Regulations
Quality,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Quantity, Order of action items
Timing (Start, Stop), Duration, Speed of each action item
Most of the greats like Michael Jordan, Tony Robbins, and Donald Trump,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], believe that you need to learn every detail of the strategy but most of all the “basics”. If you can master the basics, you will become greater than almost anyone else in your field. Once you have mastered the basics of a strategy, you will be considered to have a talent, where people will begin to take notice.
Once you have mastered a specific area of success, others will recognize your unique skill and you will become known for that mastery, whether locally or globally, you will obtain a level of greatness in your area of mastery/expertise.
What keeps most people from taking action? At the top of the list is fear. Fear of failure, and sometimes the fear of success. The key is to act (even in the face of fear), don’t delay – accept the risk and, like Nike says, “Just Do It!” Courageous action is one of the best ways you can choose to overcome your fear – and it takes little outside effort to do so.
Next you need to break your goal down into manageable targets, usually smaller goals that you can achieve on a daily or weekly basis. It’s important to prioritize what is important to achieve in the long term, and what is merely a distracting short term “to do”. Most people find it helpful to use a time management system to keep their focus and attention on what’s important by scheduling their goals into their day.
4) People
May You Live With Success & Happiness!
The area of goal setting is vast with much debate on how to achieve what you want. First and foremost, you need to know “clearly” what you want to achieve. This is your chief aim or end result. Remember, it’s ok or even encouraged to “think big”!
What happens when you achieve your goal – do you need to maintain or continue to improve on it?
If you need assistance from others, knowing the right people to help you is a great benefit. For you can then source their experience, expertise or contacts to provide value for you.
By Adam Aulenback,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], The Success Admiral™
See all Articles by Adam AulenbackSee Adam Aulenback&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on AchievementGet Updates on Adam Aulenback Average: 3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].333335 Your rating: None Average: 3.3 (3 votes) Tweet
For example, if you were to lose 10 lbs of unwanted body fat would you be able to keep the weight off without any conscious effort? Most people would say they would definitely need to work at keeping the weight off – and depending on your goal after you’ve achieved your first goal, you will want to work on one of the two following strategies:
Continuous Success
Progressive Results
Continuous Success is a strategy you use when you want to keep the results you have achieved and repeat the successful outcome again and again.
2) Decision Making
A few of the most important aspects of dealing with others is knowing how to communicate for mutual understanding, conveying honesty and understanding differences in cultural communication styles and individual personality types. This is a very complex area of success, but when you can master this area, you will be able to persuade others to assist you in achieving your goals while they attain theirs.
To change the way in which you use or create our mental programming, you can use certain tools such as education and learned behaviours, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Neuro-Associative Conditioning (NAC), just to name a few. It’s important for you to develop a habit of continuous learning, to “sharpen the saw” as Stephen Covey says, as you move toward the growth of your mind and lifelong excellence.
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Helping Achievers Create Success & Happiness
You will need to make a choice to pro-actively execute on your goals, and perform actions that will take you closer to your end result.
For most people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this will eventually fail, for they do not enjoy the activities they force themselves to do in order to succeed. What a lot of people do not realize is that most of the time it is our thoughts that cause this lack to persist. If you change your thinking, you can absolutely create the passion, enthusiasm, desire, ambition or drive to change your life. The key is to look at your problem or opportunity in a different mindset, or from a different perception. Without the right tools, this is not easy.
If there is no clear cut strategy available for you to follow, you can always create you own. Most people do this through trail & error (or experimentation), taking calculated or blind action and then learning from their failure or mistakes, or they use their creativity and innovate their way by improving through redesigning a current system.
After reading thousands of pages in books,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], examining hundreds of articles and studies, and comparing many other pieces of excellent information on success, I was able to determine exactly what success is comprised of.
A useful technique for helping you to achieve your goals even faster is that of visualization. This is where you create a vision of your ultimate goal, or dream, and seeing yourself actually living as “if it were your reality”.
The world is getting smaller and smaller with the Internet. I’d be interested to see a new study on how many degrees of separation the average person now has with the introduction of social networking groups such as Facebook and Twitter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], among others. The Internet helps to break down cultural barriers and borders between countries, allowing you access to many more people all over the planet.
It’s a good habit to review the day’s targets before you start out. This will prepare you for what you need to do and it helps you to concentrate on what’s important (this can also help you make quick decisions if something unexpectedly arises.)
Being able to look at trends in your target area of success can assist you with optimal timing, however, forward thinking and “looking into the future” can be the greater asset. One key thing to remember is that the only constant is that of change, for no matter what is happening today, it will never truly be the same tomorrow.
9) Consistent Excellence™
People can make or break you, for there is power in numbers. If you own a business, and you have customers that respect and trust you – and you under promise and over deliver on their expectations – you will be successful in business providing real value to their life. By targeting your niche market through appropriate sales and marketing techniques, you will be able to create a base of loyal clients. If you are leading people, knowing how to communicate effectively creating a synergy of teamwork and cooperation is invaluable.
The way in which you think is dependent upon your mental programming, and your actions will create your personal brand and reputation for which you will become known by.
3) Opportunities
Masteries™ are Master(ed) Strategies for achieving a specific outcome in your life. There are some who believe that it takes either 10,000 hours of practice to become a master, or expert, at your strategy, or that you need to practice your strategy 10,000 times. There are others who believe that you can learn to master a strategy within less time if you increase the intensity of each session you practice your area of mastery. Either belief requires you to take action through intervals of time while modifying your approach until you become a master.
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You can then guide people to achieve results using the mastery in their life using different types of coaching.
Either way, you are consistently striving for excellence through Peak Performance after you have already achieved a specific goal successfully.
The last level is that of heroism. This is where you use your mastery, without the expectation or intent to receive anything in return, with the intent to help others completely unselfishly and for the pure benefit of another.
Whichever way you take to achieve your outcome, one thing is for certain, only those who persist will achieve.
Decision making is a major component to success – and your decisions are based on many factors such as:
Morals;
Beliefs;
Ethics;
Values;
Identity;
Critical Thinking;
IQ (Convergence);
IQ (Divergence);
Principles and;
Faith
Through accurate thinking and being congruent with your integrity, you will make decisions which reflect “who” you are, based on your mental programming.
The next level requires you to help others achieve success, most of the time a group of individuals, where you are leading people because you are the master of what the others are trying to achieve.
This keeps them going in the right direction, and makes them more efficient. It’s also important to track and analyze the results you achieve or feedback you acquire – this can be the most valuable information you can obtain during the entire goal setting process.
When it comes to success and people, I can’t stress enough how important this area is. If you can develop great relationships with people, you will have an area of wealth that money can’t buy.
The first area of motivation is the presence or absence of this ambitious emotion. Some people are strong willed enough to use self-discipline to force themselves to keep moving toward their goal, their motto is “Never Give Up”, even if they don’t enjoy the process.
When you can consistently repeat/maintain this success you have created excellence.
The more open-minded you are, the more creative, imaginative and innovative, the more opportunities you will create for yourself. Also, you need to be flexible in your approach on the road to achieve your goal, and be able to accept alternative, or unique, routes until achievement.
The next key is when you are working to learn to work smarter by maximizing your effect with the smallest amount of effort possible. This is not laziness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is being efficient. You always want to do your best and sometimes that will require you to go the extra mile. My favorite way to go the extra mile is to take extraordinary action, for if I’m going to assume a risk anyway, why not make the chance of success all the more great?
Once you have tweaked your results to create your desired outcome you have achieved your intended success.
One of the best ways to create motivation, through passionate determination, is to have a purpose which you feel aligns with your life’s purpose in some way. This will create congruence and integrity with your internal beliefs system, and it will create instant commitment to achieve your goal. People who can do this will achieve their goals faster,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and will enjoy every step of the way toward their ultimate outcome.
None of the above areas of success matter if you don’t take action toward achieving your goals. You could have the best mindset, motivation, excellent contacts and people skills, phenomenal mastery of a subject, but if you don’t use any of them, then they are being wasted.
Progressive Results is s a strategy you use when you want to continue to achieve results and consistently increase the successful results, one after another.
Also, if you know how to delegate effectively, this can provide a mutual benefit for both of you.
7) Motivation
There is a time when we’ve all felt the lack of motivation – and times when we’ve felt so motivated – but we don’t have the skills or strategy to accomplish what we want to change. Has this ever happened to you?
I spent many countless months, weeks and hours of compiling data and information about success, and I noticed a lot of very similar ideas, topics and areas of success that successful people talked about (whether consciously or unconsciously). It’s interesting to note that sometimes people who are successful, or have achieved great accomplishments, may not able to recount the strategy they used to achieve success. For some, it takes years of trial and error to create the outcome they so desperately desire, and this may be the reason they cannot remember their “roadmap” for success.
This area of success is key, for it holds the way in which you view or perceive success. You can use your mental programming to create rules,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], expectations, self-esteem and self-confidence, as well as view situations with a positive or optimistic outcome.
10) Success Evolutions™
Results
Success
Excellence
Mastery
Greatness
Teaching
Coaching
Mentoring
Leading
Heroism
With every attempt of success you first achieve results.
1) Mental Programming
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Like some other company said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Membership Has It’s Privileges” — so don’t be shy. Sign up using the form in the upper right corner. It’s totally free and you can opt-out at any time.
I hope you will enjoy my weekly newsletter “The Renegade Doctor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!”
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This is the discussion area for and the archive of my newsletter The Renegade Doctor.
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For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I recently gave a free bottle of Omega-3 fish oil away to each subscriber — and I even paid the postage!
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If you want a rice pilaf for special occasions, this recipe is for you. It is substantial, full of flavor, and is quite easy to prepare. The combination of flavors blends beautifully, and the variety of ingredients makes this a highly nutritious dish.
Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup wild rice
• 1 cup long grain brown rice
• 1 med onion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chopped
• 3/4 cup diced celery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], about 1/4-inch pieces
• 2 cups sliced crimini mushrooms
• 1 medium green apple, diced into 1/4-inch pieces
• 4 medium cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
• 6 dried apricots, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley
• 2 TBS chopped fresh sage (or 2 tsp dried sage)
• 3 TBS chopped fresh thyme (or 1 TBS dried thyme)
• 1/2 TBS fennel seeds
• 3/4 cup + 1 TBS chicken broth
• 2 TBS extra virgin olive oil
• Salt and black pepper to taste
Serving suggestion: Serve with 10-Minute Rosemary Lamb Chops or Fresh Herbed Chicken Breasts and one of our Mediterranean Greens: 5-Minute Kale or 3-Minute Swiss Chard.
By World's Healthiest Foods
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Prep and Cook Time: 45 minutes, baking time: 1 hour
Serves 6
Directions:
1. Bring 3-1/2 cups of lightly salted water to a boil. While water is coming to a boil rinse the wild rice under running water in a strainer. When water is boiling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], add both wild and brown rice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], turn heat to low, and cook for about 45 minutes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], until tender. Do not overcook. You will most likely have excess water when rice is cooked properly. Put cooked rice in a strainer and drain out excess water. Set aside in a bowl large enough to mix everything together.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Heat 1 TBS chicken broth in a large stainless steel skillet. Healthy Sauté onion in broth over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add mushrooms and celery and continue to sauté for another 2-3 minutes.
3. Mix all the ingredients except for onions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], rice, and 1 TBS broth together in bowl and season with salt and pepper.
4. Preheat oven to 350°F/175°C. Place mixture in an 8-inch square baking dish and bake covered for about 1 hour. Drizzle with olive oil and mix with a fork to keep it fluffy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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It is even said that smoking one cigarette can decrease your lifetime by one minute. So imagine how many minutes have already been cut down from your life after you have smoked several packs a week.

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By Megan Oltman
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This may seem obvious, but it's something I need to remind myself of from time to time. We can't avoid every Migraine. The job before us in managing life with Migraine disease is to avoid as many as we can,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], through avoiding triggers, getting rest, exercise, nourishment, drinking enough water,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], living a healthy life, through relaxing and calming our nervous systems, through getting the best medical treatment we can, appropriate use of medications,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], using other therapies to help us maintain ourselves, balancing our energy and our work-load, getting support, getting to know our own bodies and our own reactions... are you breathless yet? Yes, we do all of that, and it is a big job, and most of us can have a huge impact on the number and severity of Migraine attacks that we get. But we can't avoid every Migraine.
I didn't avoid the one that hit me last night. Sometimes you can see them coming, you can see the set up as it is happening, like in a movie where you start yelling at the heroine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't open that door, don't do it!" but she does it anyway. Here's what happened to me: I missed a dose of my preventive medication; I had several days of anxiety over current financial uncertainties; I slept badly for two nights; I got my period; something upset me and I cried; I had a fun and exciting radio interview which I enjoyed very much; I began feeling some head pain and didn't take an abortive right away because I needed to drive my kids to some appointments.
Instead, I took Adam to his drum lesson,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then we went to the library until it was time to get Rachel from her rehearsal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then we sat outside the High School for 45 minutes until she was let out from the rehearsal. I should have let her drive home but the effort of climbing out of the driver's seat and into another was too much to face. By the time I got home I could only climb upstairs, vomit, give myself an Imitrex injection, and lie down. I couldn't find my ice packs. The pain was so intense that even shifting position in bed made my head pound. All I could do was lie perfectly still with my bean-bag eye mask, do my relaxation breathing, and wait for the pain to ease. After a couple of hours it let up enough that I could sleep. It’s still with me today, though much less intense. I think if I keep very quiet it will leave today.
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Chances are that even with the large stack of triggers I was dealing with,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if I had taken my triptan and laid down at the first sign of pain, I probably would have minimized the Migraine, if not eliminated it altogether. In a perfect world,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my husband wouldn't have had an important commitment I didn’t want him to miss,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and could have driven the kids. Hell,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in a perfect world, we'd have safe available public transportation! No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wait a second, in a perfect world we'd have the public transportation and I wouldn't have the Migraine!
- Megan
I am lucky that I don't get a Migraine that bad very often. Not more than once every month or two. Most often I am able to treat the Migraines I get right away; most of them do not progress to that kind of excruciating pain. Life happens, though. We don't live in a perfect world. We have a disease; we do the best we can. I have been going about a week between Migraines, which is great progress. I'm grateful. I hope you are doing well too.
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It is even said that smoking one cigarette can decrease your lifetime by one minute. So imagine how many minutes have already been cut down from your life after you have smoked several packs a week.